Anxiety or Expectation

This weekend I took our son to his swim lessons at the YMCA and had a blast watching him, along with the other students, throw a ball into the water then jump in to retrieve it.  The last time I saw Wesley in the water he was reluctant to get his face wet and definitely didn’t want to go under.  This time though he leapt off the side, going fully under as he desperately tried to chase down his ball and return to his spot before the other kids.  One of the big factors was the foam flotation device strapped to his back.  I think he has realized that he won’t drown and can therefore jump in with a smile on his face even when the water is too deep and he can barely swim.
This is a helpful metaphor for me as we move further along the path of uncertainty and unknown that is necessary to starting a new church.  There is the temptation to fluctuate between excitement and anxiety as we cycle between positive developments, disappointments, and the expanding series of hurdles that lie ahead.  But when I stop and think what faith looks like the word “expectancy” comes to mind.  If God is behind our work I should expect that he will provide for us and lead us, as he has through other times of difficulty.  If I believe that there is someone with infinite power lending his strength to my feeble efforts I can do the various aspects of my job with expectation.  So I think of Wesley jumping off the side of the pool, not knowing how to swim, knowing the water is too deep and I am pushed to leap with a smile.  What if God does work through weakness?  What if my sleepy prayers, day late emails, and timid conversations are the means through which he will display his goodness and strength?  What if the cross, an event of horrible evil and apparent absurdity reveals the wisdom of God and breaks the stranglehold of sin and death?

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