There are images that help me understand and describe my life. For Hillary and I the current pictures are threadbare jeans and thinly rolled play dough.
I have a couple pairs of jeans that I really like and are in various stages of becoming threadbare. Some are full of holes and almost ready for the rag pile while others are just looking thin in the knees. These days we feel like we’re the jeans with some significant holes and then some patches that are even wearing through. The friction that has come over the past year of transition keeps hitting at certain spots and we feel like we’re wearing through.
Then there is the play dough. Which you can roll thinner, then thinner, and thiner until it’s a fine film on the rolling surface. We feel like we’re being pressed out, stretched out, and there is little holding us together.
Practically, this means our emotions are much closer to the surface. Anger, sadness, and impatience more easily come out while stress, discouragement, and disappointment more easily penetrate our defenses. This pattern is played out in different areas of life where our resources seem worn down and insufficient.
In the midst of feeling worn and stretched, there is also the work of God happening within us. In different ways he continues to renew us and it shines through more clearly because there is less obscuring his work. As I think about the tension of emptiness and being fill 2 Corinthians 4 comes to mind. It says,
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
So, for those of you praying for us, ask God to renew us and help us look to the unseen. We need patience, love, wisdom, and faith. We also need God’s favor as we try to sell our home and raise money to begin the work in Providence.